A Late Night Rant (because it's my blog and I can do that)

If you're reading this post 16th May it means I've decided to leave it and not delete in flurry of morning-after horror. 

Before I begin this rant, please note, I am not drunk. The new medication I am taking for my Hypersomnia means I can not drink. This evening I went to a lovely engagement do and consumed one mini cupcake and two rosewater-flavoured lemonades. So I am ranting with a sober heart. 

I just need to vent, because being an aspiring author is really tough and right now I have no idea what I'm doing and don't have many people to talk to about it. I have no idea what the future holds for me. I have a Plan B, and a Plan C, but in a double-dip recession they're not too easy to make happen should Plan A fail. I have this horrible vision of entering my thirties and still living with my parents, crooked of back from hours spent looming over a laptop and shoving random bits of paper at publishers yelling 'Print Me! Print Me!' in the manner of a wolf who howls at the moon. 

And tonight, at this lovely engagement do in Hampstead I did some mingling, which I actually quite enjoy because I like people and I like to chat. And I came across someone who, whether meaning to or not, made me feel about half the height I actually am (I'm nearly 6ft). 

"So what do you do?" she of no name asks.

"Well I work part time, but right now I'm trying to get my novel off the ground." I reply. 

"Oh, have you actually written one then?"

"Yes, it's sitting with agents at the moment. But it's all very tentative... you know..."

"And you work part time?"

"Yes, so that I can focus on my writing."

"Gosh, that's brave" FULL PATRONISING INTONATION. "And I suppose you're scouring over that big red Writers and Artists Yearbook every night?"

"No... I don't have one of those."

"I used to be a journalist. I found that very helpful. You should look at it."

"I think I'm doing ok at the moment, I know a few people who know a few people, and the internet is pretty handy."

"Have you had anything published before?"

"No..."

"Not even a short story?"

"No..."

"You should try and do that. Agents like that."

"I have done a Masters in Creative Writing..."

"But you haven't had anything published from it? Not even a short story?"

"I don't think I'm much of a short story writer. I really like writing bigger things."

"Well good luck with that." Side glance around the room. "So what do you do to earn money?"

"I work in a bookshop in London."

"Well I suppose that's linked to the writing thing. You could probably make some good contacts from that."

"Yes... I know..."

I'm going to leave it there because the conversation tapered after that point anyway and I can't remember how it ended. I just felt so small, and so low and so sad because whether intentionally or not, this one person really made me feel like an idiot, even though I'm pretty sure I'm not one. 

But if I'm going to take one thing from this little, bitter tidbit, it's that it's given me some damned fire in my belly. Because if the zombie apocalypse arrives tomorrow, I know that I spent my final days dedicated to what I love doing. And I may fail, I know this, but I don't want to be one of those people who never tried. I've given up a lot to do what I have dreamed of doing since I was a little girl who folded over pieces of dot-matrix paper and bound them with cellotape to make her own library, and I'm not some naive little creature wide-eyed with optimism. I know what I'm doing. I love what I'm doing, and I may never ever make any money from it but right now I don't care. 

Bring on the rejection slips. I'm ready for you. 

VENTING OVER. HEART RATE SLOWED. TIME FOR BED.

xxx

Contempo-May Review: Geekhood by Andy Robb

In One Line:  Geek meets girl; cue hilarity!

Genre: High School underdog does good.

The Gist:

Just in case you haven’t already guessed, our main character, Archie is a geek. But he’s not just any old geek, he’s an uber-geek. The kind that paints tiny fantasy figurines and plays dungeons and dragons. In terms of mainstream society, he’s pretty much a lost cause. Until Beautiful Goth Sarah walks into his life, mistaking his fantasy games shop hangout for a new-age, cult boutique. Sarah is quite obviously da bomb, and Archie is in love. But not just any kind of love, this is the real deal, life-changing LURVE. Will Archie break out of his geeky shell and get the girl? Will he manage to avoid being beaten up by the school bully? And most importantly, who will win in the game of life?

The Cover:

It is so cute and dorky! And I actually quite like the fact that they didn’t resort to cliches. I mean, you could have put a dragon and/or a Frodo and/or a Spock on there, but there are probably copyright issues involved. So they went for the simple, and the simple works for me. What I really want to talk about is the quote on the cover. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Who the hell got Vampire Bill to quote on the cover of this book, and can that person please get in touch with me so that I can force my way into their life and therefore meet Vampire Eric and Werewolf Alcide??? (because I’m totally over Bill since he became the king and became even more mysterious and secretive than usual). ANYWAY. Yeah, the cover’s alright. 

Why You’ll Love This Book

• This book is actually just like a little geek. Initially a little weird to look at, but it’s core is all warm and friendly and fuzzy. Seriously, this book is stuffed with heart and that makes it a wonderful, engaging read. 
• So this is what young teenage guys think about when they see girls! They notice our bras! They like to make us laugh! They think we’re elven princesses! Ok, maybe not the last one, but in any case this book is an enlightening insight into how the other half thinks and feels. 
• Contemporary YA is aimed so much at the girlie market that it’s truly refreshing to come across some great, young, comic writing that boys can equally enjoy. Give this book to your brothers! To your boyfriends! To your boy-cousins! 
• Proto-Big-Bang-Theory. This is like a What If scenario, if Big Bang Theory was set in England and the characters were all 14. Of course Sheldon would blatantly already be graduating from Oxbridge at this stage, but Archie is so obviously a younger Leonard that it made me want to hug him. 
• Geek overload. There are some truly epic references in this book, and every one is SO entertaining. From Star Trek, to Star Wars, to Lord of the Rings, I don’t think there is anything that is missed out. Mr Robb has clearly had a lot of fun writing this, and it’s lots of fun to read too.

Why You May Not Love This Book:

• Sarah. I’m sorry, but from the very first moment she showed up, I couldn’t stand her. She’s written like she’s some unreal creature, which is fair to an extent because the story is from Archie’s point of view, but it left me wondering if Mr Robb can in fact write women. Because Sarah makes pretty much no sense to me, and other than Archie and Sarah’s mothers, there are no other girls in the book. I want to lay down this gauntlet to Mr Robb: write a believable girl next time please, because I don’t know anyone who would have behaved like Sarah. By the end of the novel I actually wondered if she was mildly autistic, as she has absolutely NO idea of the affect she’s having on the guys around her. 
• Every now and again I wanted to go through some pages with a big red pen. I just don’t think this book has been edited enough. All the writing is great, but there is a lot of unnecessary stuff going on here. This book could have been a lot shorter and not suffered at all for it. 
• I wanted more of Archie’s friends. Can’t really elaborate much on that, especially after I’ve said that the book could do with being a little shorter, but Archie’s mates all merged into one entity for me, and I couldn’t tell them apart much. 

The Hypersomnia Test:

It didn’t pass. I’m sorry. Passing or not passing the hypersomnia test really is no indication of whether I liked the book, or whether it was good or not, but does tell me something about the pace. If it doesn’t keep me awake, it means that something in the storytelling isn’t quite hitting the right buttons. And this book is very, very wordy, with not a lot of action. In fact, I suspect that it would have done with losing a few hundred words here and there. 

Final Verdict:

I am a bonified geek, always have been, always will be. Ever since I discovered Star Trek: The Next Generation and decided that a man with a beard was ok ONLY if they also played the trombone, I knew what I was. I was attracted to the world of sci-fi for it’s optimism. My teenage years sucked - I looked odd, was brainy and had a wacky imagination, so I found solace in the world of Star Trek, with it’s prime directives and it’s sleek spaceships and replicators that could make ANYTHING and yet nobody was ever fat. I had a star trek badge. I had a Bajoran earring (google it. It’s soooo cool). So essentially, I was the female version of Archie. I identified. I know how hard it is to be a geek in a world that seems so ultimately cooler than you. I wish I had a book like this when I was younger so that I didn’t feel so alone, and I truly hope that there are more stories from Archie and his friends to come!

Further Reading:

Swim the Fly by Don Calame

An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

The Strange Case of the Origami Yoda by Tom Angleberger

To buy Geekhood click HERE!!!

Contempo-May Review: Adorkable by Sarra Manning

In One Line:  Girl hates boy, boy hates girl, much kissing ensues. 

Genre: High School Heart Break

The Gist:

Meet Jeane: she has half a million followers on Twitter, a blog lifestyle emporium thingy, and spends her weekends attending jumble sales and eating cupcakes. Then meet Michael, who is Mr Conventional Perfect and wears Jack Wills hoodies (I had to look up Jack Wills because I actually had no idea what it was, I am that uncool). Their respective ex-partners hook up, leaving both parties slightly enraged. Michael even knocks Jeane off her bike (accidentally)! But then they discover that they make quite good kissing buddies. And then they discover that they are quite good sexytimes buddies. And then all the emotions happen!

The Cover:

I’m going to go all out there and say: I hate it. It’s like someone’s photo-shopped in a load of images and pasted them on beige. Which is such a shame because the title logo is AMAZING and the cover models look EXACTLY how the main characters should look. But, I can’t get over the beige. I really can’t. 

Why You’ll Love This Book

• Here we go again, it’s my favourite type of literary romance! I Hate You But I Love You But I Hate You! It’s Beatrice and Benedick, it’s Elizabeth and Mr Darcy, it’s When Harry Met Sally! It’s electric and it keeps you reading because even though you know the main characters are totally unsuitable for each other, they’re also, paradoxically, TOTALLY suitable for each other. These characters get under your skin unlike any characters I have read in a long time. 
• Talky talky he-said, she-said! One of my pet hates in books with alternate character chapters is when the publisher feels the need to Spell It Out for you. Some books go with different fonts for the different characters, some feel they have to put the character’s name in MASSIVE letters at the beginning of their relevant chapters. The great thing about this book is that it doesn’t patronise you, and the editors have left the writing to speak for itself. Well done publishers!
• Dylan’s Candy Store! This place was MY LIFE when I worked in America. If you don’t know about it, google it now. And then let the dreaming begin. 
• All of the Geek Chic. This book is an overdose in awesome. It’s cool, it’s quirky, the dialogue is eerily current (judging by what I overhear in Edgware Starbucks) and I can totally believe that somewhere, if not now but in the really near future, there is a lonely Jeane Smith just waiting for someone to sneak into her heart. 

Why You May Not Love This Book:

• The characters aren’t what you’d automatically call likeable... in fact, they’re pretty horrid. Jeane is a freak of a emotional mess and there is no way that I’d ever be friends with her (she’s way too scary for me) and Michael is the kind of guy I’d see in school and stay away from because he’s blatantly too cool for me, and he hangs with a mean crowd. So why did I continue reading this book? The characters get under your skin and reveal their emotional depth slowly, keeping you hooked. 
• There’s not a lot of plot. In fact, there was a point about a third of the way in where I wondered if there was ever going to be a plot. It made me nervous, it made me wonder if anything was ever going to happen. Needless to say this was never going to be an action-packed affair, but just stick with it. Even through the bits where nothing happens. Because the Feelings are worth it. 

The Hypersomnia Test:

Alas, it didn’t pass. That’s because I had a tube journey to take when I hit that sneaky third-of-the-way-through lull. So I put it down, and had a nap, and then after I hit the halfway point it was all systems go! I couldn’t get enough! 

Final Verdict:

This book is dorky and adorable. ADORKABLE. It’s got a weird, unexpected charm that may not grab you straight away, but by the end you are totally on side. Geek Chic in book form, and also oddly inspirational, this book makes me want to embrace my friends and bake cakes all at the same time. Also, I now giggle every time I walk past Garfunkle's in Leicester Square.

Further Reading:

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist by David Levithan and Rachel Cohn

The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler (read my review HERE!)

Epic Fail by Claire LaZebnik

To buy Adorkable please click HERE!!!

Letterbox Love no.1 - Sun 13th May 2012

So here is some of the lovely jubbly stuff I've received over the past week and a bit...

And here is a bit more in depth info...

Earth Girl by Janet Edwards

Meet me, Jarra. Earth Girl.

It's the year 2788, and the universe is divided into two different kinds of people: the Norms, who can portal between other planets, and people like me, the one in a thousand who are born with an immune system which doesn't allow us to leave planet Earth.

Norms come back to Earth for one reason: the study human history. But only if they don't have to interact with us 'Neanderthals' along the way. Well, I've got a plan to change all that.

Call me whatever you like, I'm every bit as good as they are. 

And I'm going to prove it to them.

Publishes: August 2012

The Selection by Kiera Cass

In a world of glittering gowns and priceless jewels The Selection is the chance of a lifetime: to compete for gorgeous Prince Maxon's heart. But for America Singer it means turning her back on her secret love, and leaving home for a prize she doesn't want. 

Then America meets Maxon and all her plans start to crumble. Can the life she's always dreamed of compare to a future she never imagined?

Publishes: June 2012

The Blessed by Tonya Hurley

A dark, contemporary rock 'n' roll retelling of three famous female martyrs - Agnes, Cecilia and Lucy.

Three girls find themselves in the emergency room at Perpetual Help Hospital at the lowest point in their lives.

Three rebels running from their lives and themselves, plagued by broken hearts and broken dreams.

Enter Sebastian. Mysterious, compelling, seductive. 

He seems to bring each of them what they long for... but in the battle for his heart, will they lose their souls?

Publishes: August 2012

Zombies Don't Cry by Rusty Fisher

Maddy Swift is just an ordinary girl, until the fateful night when she is struck by lightning and wakes up face down in a puddle. Then it's goodbye to all things Normal - such as breathing and having a heartbeat - and hello to yellow vision and a whole new Afterlife.

Turns out there's a lot more to being a zombie that shuffling and groaning, but surviving school as one of the living dead requires a different set of skills. And things don't get any easier when Maddy realises that she's not the only reanimated student at Barracuda Bay High...

Publishes: October 2012

Another Life by Keren David

Kicked out of yet another boarding school Archie couldn't be happier to find himself back in London with old friends and an exciting social life. But he's worried about his cousin Ty, who is facing a sentence in a Young Offender Institution and doesn't seem to be coping. When he begins to learn surprising things about Ty, Archie goes on a mission to uncover the truth about his cousin's past and to find out just who is the real Ty.

Publishes: September 2012

Seraphina by Rachel Hartman

Can one girl unite two worlds?

A fragile peace has been achieved in the realm of Goredd, and dragons and humans live together in harmony. 

But the truce is shattered when a royal prince is brutally murdered - could dragons be to blame?

Seraphina, a talented court musician harbouring secrets of her own, is drawn into the investigation and uncovers a darker plot, one that threatens the very existence of the kingdom. And soon her own life is in terrible danger as she fights to hide the secret behind her amazing gift...

Publishes: July 2012

Witchstruck by Victoria Lamb

Meg Lytton has always known of her dark, powerful gift. But there has never been a more dangerous time to practise the craft, for it is 1554, and the punishment for any woman branded a witch is death.

Sent to live amidst the intrigue and rebellion of Woodstock, where the banished Princess Elizabeth desperately awaits her fate, Meg's life is thrown into turmoil by the ruthless witchfinder, Marcus Dent, and a smouldering young Spanish priest, Alejandro de Castillo.

Publishes: July 2012

Chime by Franny Billingsley

Briony knows she is a witch. She also knows that now her beloved stepmother is dead she must look after her beautiful but complicated twin sister, Rose. Then the energetic, electric, golden-haired Eldric arrives in her home town of Swampsea, and everything that Briony thinks about ehrself and her life is turned magically, dizzyingly upside down.

Publishes: June 2012

Well I hope you are as intrigued and excited about these books as I am! I want to read every single one, and I will try to! 

Any thoughts or comments, please live them in the doobree below.

Hugs and high fives,

Nicole

x

I'm Going There, but it's OK Because Forever Young Adult Went There First...

So yesterday I came across this brilliant blog post: 
The Hottest Cartoon Characters
And it was like being set free. All my life swooning over imaginary characters, sometimes with hot voices, sometimes not. And now I can come forth from my closet and talk openly about the animated characters that have given me considerable swoon over the course of my life. I'm coming out here so that you have the confidence and faith to come out too. Join me, embrace your love for the cartoon boys who made our lives complete. 


So in honour of that blog post, I present to you my choice for Hottest Cartoon Characters (and maybe puppets too). 


(I should point out here that I actually had dreams about Dimitri from Anastasia and am somewhat gutted that the Forever Young Adult ladies got there first in acknowledging his profound swoon status.)


So, in no particular order...

Top Cat

He's the boss. He's the leader of the gang. Basically, he's a pimp in a purple waistcoat. We're starting as we mean to go on, so embrace it. 

Lion O

He has muscles. He has a sword. And he has ginger hair. Need I say anything more?

Cavin from Disney's Gummi Bears

Guys, he believed. HE BELIEVED. (*whispers* believed.)

The Singer from the Ducktales Theme Tune

I know this one is a little off topic, but there was something in the passion, something in the punchy OOO OOOOs that got me every time. 

Donatello

In the geekiest of cartoon shows, I was all about the geek. Leo might have been the leader, Raf the wise guy and Mic the joker, but for me it was all about Don, the brains behind the operation. Also purple was my favourite colour when I was a kid. 

Freddie the Frog

A sixteenth century prince turned into a frog and made to work for the British secret service. He rocked. And he was friends with the Loch Ness Monster. Was I the only one who saw this film? I think my primary school showed it to us during a wet playtime. 

Wheeler from Captain Planet

He was the goofy jock from Brooklyn, but he was mine. MINE. And managed to pull off the ginger mullet + muscles combo and still be the heartthrob of the show. 

Amaris

Dogtanian himself was a little young and impetuous for me, but Amaris was really pretty. All for one and one for all, the Muskehounds are ALWAYS ready.

Scott Tracey

For last, I give you my first true love. Scott Tracey, the eldest Thunderbirds brother. I loved his bravery quiet authority. Most girls went for Virgil, the ladies man, but I was all about Scott. Not least because he had a big rocket. 

So there we have it. My life and my truth, laid bare for you all to see. Please don't leave me alone out here in the cold, I want to know YOUR Hot Cartoon Boys too. Leave your comments and suggestions in the thingy below!


Hugs and high fives,


Nicole
x

Contempo-May Review: Falling Fast by Sophie McKenzie

In One Line: The course of young love never did run smooth...

Genre: High School Musical! Without the songs and dances.

The Gist:

Young River believes in love. True love, the kind that lasts forever and is intense and amazing and totally unrealistic. Also, she has the name River. But that’s not too bad considering that her brother is called Stone. River and her mates sign up to take part in a production of Romeo and Juliet at the boys school down the road, and you know what happens when you stick teenage girls in a boys school. That’s right, you’ve guessed it: big sloppy, messy LURVE. River instantly connects with bad-boy Romeo Flynn, but will he ever feel about her the way she feels about him?

The Cover:

It’s sweet and all, which is fine, but that isn’t Flynn and that isn’t River. Don’t ask why, I can just tell, ok? But there is a scene in the book where the lovebirds get it on in a park. Maybe the cover is from that bit? Either way, I’m a bit meh over it. But I do like her boots. Do they come in my size?

Why You’ll Love This Book

• Flynn is hot in the same way Charlie Sheen is hot in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Christian Slater is hot in Heathers. You know they’re bad, and messed up, and all intense and brooding, but you just can’t resist. Also, it’s quite possible that YOU CAN FIX HIM. 
• This book is the perfect read for young teens who have covered the Cathy Cassidy / Jacqueline Wilson bases and are ready for the Next Step. 
• This book has a refreshing, non-patronising attitude to sex and alcohol and accepts that kids just get up to that stuff. I also really liked the way that River just has to accept that Flynn’s dreams and ambitions aren’t quite as romantic and idealistic as hers. There’s no right or wrong here, and it’s nice to find a read that isn’t pushing an agenda or a deep and powerful message. 

Why You May Not Love This Book:

• It was too young for me. In fact, despite the casual references to sex and alcohol, there was something distinctly Middle Grade about it, and because of this I’m not sure how well it stands up next to it’s peers in the genre. Basically, if you’re already a YA fanatic, you might want to miss this one. If you’re young and keen and new to the world of Teen, then this is the book for you!
• Not enough Romeo and Juliet. Which may sound strange because there are references to the play on every other page, but I presumed that there would be more of a thematic link between what happens in the play and what happens in the story. Other than River realising that love isn’t how it appears in the stories, I’m just not that convinced of the relevance. 
• Too short! I read this book in an afternoon. It’s only 250 pages long and the print is really large. Which only made me feel that this book is more suited to 10-11 year olds rather than the hardcore YA crowd. I was also annoyed because I felt that there was so much to explore in this story, so much potential. Give me more McKenzie, MORE!!!

The Hypersomnia Test:

I read this book far too quickly to be able to see if it would keep me awake during my sleepy-times, but I have a suspicion that it wouldn’t. Only because there is nothing startlingly new here, and the closer I got to the end the more I realised that it wasn’t likely anything outrageously provocative was going to happen. 

Final Verdict:

I was really hoping for some mammoth, gritty twist in the end, but it didn’t come. And I hope that’s not a massive spoiler for you, but I think I was expecting more of this book than it intended to give me. As I mentioned earlier in this review, if you are a young or reluctant reader, then this book is perfect, but for heavy YA readers, I’m not sure that this will cut the mustard. HOWEVER. At the very end of this book I noticed a tiny reference to this being the first in a series, and that makes me a little bit excited, because Flynn is HOT and I don’t think you can ever have too much of him!

Further Reading:

Lia’s Guide to Winning the Lottery by Keren David

Cherry Crush by Cathy Cassidy

Girls in Love by Jacqueline Wilson

To buy Falling Fast click HERE!!!

Contempo-May Reading List: The Ultimate YA Road Trips

In honour of the AWWsome Saving June by Hannah Harrington (read my review HERE!), I would like to present to you some further reading if road trips are your thang. Just remember, the point of a road trip isn't where you're going, it's how you get there...

Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick by Joe Schreiber

Let’s start off this list with something entirely unconventional, because in this book, we’re not talking about a cross-country journey of self-discovery, but a trip to NYC in your dad’s posh car so that the foreign exchange student you thought was really dull can go and murder a load of people. Yeah. You heard that right. Plus there’s a teeny bit of self-discovery too.

Amy and Roger’s Epic Detour by Morgan Matson

Sweet, romantic and lovely, the plot may be entirely inevitable from the outside, but I dare you not to fall in love with these charming, messed up characters. Plus added bonus, the book comes with a soundtrack (my particular fave is playlist 4) and scrapbook pages! Pretty much the perfect Summer read.

Two Way Street by Lauren Barnholdt

Admission time - this one I haven’t read yet but I do own it and plan to read it on a lazy Summer afternoon. I promise. I mean, look at this cover: road trip, a complicated break-up and the hope of a romantic make-up. Because it is a universal truth that if you go on a road trip with a boy, you will end up totally romantically involved. Fact. 

Paper Towns by John Green

This book features my favourite road trip EVER. It’s hilarious, heart-warming and does everything a road trip should do: fill you with hope and inspiration. The actual road trip only takes place towards the end of the novel, as Q searches for his girl-next-door dream-girl, who has gone missing and left a series of clues to help Q find her. A book about growing up, and coming to terms with being who you are. Brilliant. 

Going Bovine by Libba Bray

Let’s finish on a book that is completely bonkers, and a little left-field for Contempo-May. When Cameron gets diagnosed with Mad Cow Disease, he embarks on a hallucinatory journey for a cure, based mostly around the plot of Don Quixote. Cue stoner dwarfs, sugar-addicted angels, a Norse god in the form of a gnome, milkshakes and snow globes. Seriously, just read this book - it’s incredible. (PS. no link through my preferred online retailer I'm afraid!)

Have you got any more suggestions? I would love to hear them! Be sure to leave me a comment in the thingy below.

Hugs and high fives,

Nicole

x