How to Look After Rambunctious Ruby

A Guide I Have Written For My Father Whilst My Mum and I Go to Holland For A Few Days

(thought it was worth sharing)

How to Look After Rambunctious Ruby

A Guide for Daddy Burstein

I will be giving her a thorough mucking out on Monday morning. She can cope until I next get the chance to muck her out on Friday morning. I think she likes the mess. She particularly likes sitting in her own poop. So she can enjoy herself for a few days.

Every morning check that she has hay in the manger, and that it is propped up properly on the cage. She likes to knock it down but that’s because she’s an anarchist. I always prop it back up for her in the morning. Her hay can be topped up as an when. Just make sure it’s not empty.

In the little brown bowl she gets her nuggets, to be found in the purple tupperware. A small handful will do. Ruby’s very good at not over-eating. Plum used to eat everything you put in front of him and that’s why he got so fat and died of cholic. You can just top up her nuggets whenever she needs them. 

In her grey bowl she gets her Salad Feast, to be found in the clear tupperware. She’s very selective on this and will leave the stuff she doesn’t like. This should be emptied into the bin and topped up every day. She is very fussy about what she eats out of the Salad Feast, but it is her favourite. She will waste some of it though. 

Check her water levels morning and night. I usually change it every other day, but if it gets particularly hot then change it every day with cool water. When you fill up the bottle, you put half a vitamin C tablet in with the water. I put in a whole one when I had two pigs, but half is fine for just little Ruby. They are like your Barocca tablets and gives her all the vitamin C she needs. 

Don’t worry if she makes a hell of a mess. She likes it that way. But the poop levels do tend to build up in her blue house. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but if you fancy you can chuck this out into a plastic bag, re-line the bottom with kitchen towel, and then put in some bedding hay before putting the blue house back. But you don’t have to. She really seems to like sleeping in her poop.

Don’t worry if you notice that her pee is particularly orange - this is usually because she has eaten some dandelion in her salad feast and is really really normal. 

Every evening before I go to bed I give her a treat. This is usually the core of an apple I have cut up for myself, but can be any fruit or vegetable. A little bit of carrot would be fine. She doesn’t like Pink Lady apples. Please do give her some form of treat at night because she is used to this and will cry otherwise. If you give her baby tomatoes, cut them in half first so that she can bite them. Lettuce is not wise to give - it’s a lot of chewing and water for very little nutrition so there is no real point to it. If in doubt, just give her some carrot. The length of a finger is perfect. 

Hope that covers everything, but I will be easily contactable if there are any problems. 

And she loves cuddles. 

Good luck, Nicole. 

Letterbox Love no.8 - 22nd July 2012

All the exciting goodies I've received this week - and they are pretty exciting!!! Blurbs and publication details included of course...

Alice in Zombieland by Gena Showalter

Had anyone told Alice Bell that her entire like would change course between one heartbeat and the next, she would have laughed. From blissful to tragic, innocent to ruined? Please. But that's all it took. One heartbeat. A blink, a breath, a second, and everything she knew and loved was gone.

Her father was right. The monsters are real.

To avenge her family, Ali must learn to fight the undead. To survive, she must lean to trust the baddest of the bad boys, Cole Holland. But Cole has secrets of his own, and if Alice isn't careful, those secrets must just prove to be more dangerous than the zombies.

Published by Mira Ink, October 2012

Immortal City by Scott Speer

Jackson Godspeed is the hottest angel in a city obsessed with Immortals. Everyone loves him.

Everyone except Maddy Montgomery, that is. She's not interested in shallow celebrities... Until Jackson takes refuge in the diner where Maddy works and an irresistible connection pulls them together. 

But as Maddy is drawn into Jackson's glamorous world, she's exposed to more than the pararazzi. A serial killer is murdering angels. Maddy and Jackson could lose each other forever.

Published by Scholastic, OUT NOW

Rebel Heart by Moira Young

There's a price on Saba's head.

They call her the Angel of Death. She defeated a tyrant, but victory has come at a cost. Haunted by the ghosts of her past, she needs Jack. His moonlit eyes, his reckless courage, his wild heart. But Jack has left, and a ruthless new enemy searches for Saba across the Dustlands. 

Published by Scholastic, August 2012

The Stockholm Octavo by Karen Engelmann

In 18th Century Stockholm, one man's fortune holds the key to a nation's fate.

Emil Larsson is a drinker, card player and contented bachelor until he is told that his position at the Office of Excise and Customs depends on his settling down and finding a wife.

Mrs Sparrow, proprietor of an exclusive gaming house, fortune teller (and confidante of King Gustav III) offers to lay an Octavo for him - a form of cartomancy which can divine his future if he can find the eight individuals who can help him realise his vision. 

When Mrs Sparrow wins a mysterious fan in her card game, the Octavo's deeper powers are revealed.

Emil must 'collect the Eight' if his country is to be brought back from the brink of rebellion and chaos.

Published by Two Roads, September 2012

The Girl Who Could Silence the Wind by Meg Medina

From the moment Sonia Ocampo slipped into the world, blue and shivering, the hopes and dreams and fears of others have weighed heavy on her shoulders. If only her belief in herself was as strong as their faith in her.

This is a story of a change in difficult times. It is a tale of sacrifice. And, most of all, it is about fighting for a better future - for love.

Published by Walker, OUT NOW

Nice little bunch huh? I'll admit, I've already started reading Immortal City, and it is pure guilty pleasure territory (but you guys know how much I love those!). Review to come shortly. 

Hugs and high fives,

Nicole

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On Reading Comic Books Pt. 2

So the absolute biggest problem anybody approaching comics for the first time ever is comprehending the vastness of the genre. It's not like walking into a bookshop and heading for the military history section because you know that's what you're looking for. It's like walking into a bookshop all by itself. There are genres within comic books. There are genres within genres. Spin-offs, mash-ups, alternate worlds, infinite universes, histories dating from decades back as well as new evolutions. 


I'm lucky that I had a starting point. I had just twigged the Iron Man and Captain America connection and had begun to understand the bigness of the Marvel universe. I wanted more of the Marvel Universe. It's very popular right now, what with all the films going on, so I was in. But which character to start with? I decided on the X-Men. This was because I used to watch the nineties cartoons, had seen the films, and generally loved the idea of regular people getting awesome powers. So I went to my friendly line manager at work (perks of working in a bookshop) who just so happens to be a comic book/robot-dinosaur geek. He recommended I started with Astonishing X-Men, the series penned by Joss Whedon, as I was also a Buffy fan and respected Whedon as a writer. As both of us saw it, I really couldn't go wrong. 


And yeah. I didn't go wrong. I swallowed it up like a giant chocolate cake sprinkled with edible gold dust. It left my heart beating, my inspiration peaked. But why? Why was reading a comic book such an incredible experience? Surely it's just a story told in pictures, nothing complicated about that, or is there? Well here we go folks. Here's my analysis of the comic book reading experience. This is where I tell you that it's not for kids, and it's not stupid (why do you think so many geeks love it? and geeks are generally very clever people) and it's really quite amazing. 


The first thing I noticed was my brain working in a different way. I've experienced this feeling twice lately, and I guess it's the feeling that babies go through every single day as their little baby synapses connect up into a googolplex of configurations. I went to do Go Ape a few months ago as part of a hen party, and the experience of being suspended 20ft in the air and walking a tightrope does something to a brain. I also recently went on a bike riding refresher course (I can ride a bike, just haven't done so since I was a kid and have never ridden on roads). On both those occasions, I felt the proverbial cogs turning. And it happened again as I started reading Astonishing X-Men. It's like I could feel my brain adapting to this new reading process. The first few pages I read incredibly slowly, because taking it all in was hard, and then I started speeding through it as my brain adjusted, like I was developing new powers, learning to swim, learning to roller skate. Reading comic books for the first time ever is a bit like that, although much easier, and much, much less dangerous. 


Then we get to the storytelling itself. I like reading novels, and I like writing novels. Well comics aren't novels. They're pictures with words. In fact, far fewer words than you can possibly imagine. AND YET. I got just as much story as I could have possibly done with a full novel. That's kind of amazing, right? You see, the art of great comic book writing is letting the pictures do a lot of the storytelling for you, and then being able to see between the picture squares (if they have a proper name, I don't know it yet - are they panels?). The words cement what you're already figuring out from just looking at the pictures. Plus they add a great deal of humour, character understanding and the odd bit of necessary narration. 


A particularly thrilling aspect of comic book creation (which had me guffawing on the tube - yes, I didn't just chuckle or laugh, I guffawed!) is that they bring a whole new meaning to the word 'page-turner'. The comic is actually constructed page by page, so that the actual physical action of turning the page is part of the experience in itself. This doesn't happen in novels. It just can't happen. The comic book isn't just something you hold in your hands and read, you have to become physically immersed in it in order to enjoy it fully. You reach a cliff-hanger, a lynch-pin, a life or death moment, and a well constructed comic book will make you TURN THE PAGE for the big reveal. This is mindblowing. 


And then there are the characters. You can do stuff in comic books that the movie industry is only just beginning to get around to. You can design space ships that TV budgets don't have the capacity to cope with. Characters can do thrilling, incredible things. And then they can also be normal people. Like Kitty Pryde, my current Ladynerd crush and lovely X-Man. She can walk through walls and stuff, and she's in love with a big heap of metal man, and she has real-life, identifiable emotions. I want to be her friend SO BAD.  


I can see all you long-standing comic book geeks tutting and shaking their heads saying TOLD YOU SO right now, but you see, this isn't for you. I'm writing this for the millions of people like me just discovering this Narniarific world, immense and contagious and full of colour (even if it's in black and white, somehow it's still in colour, like when you watch an old telly). 


So you've read this article, you've never touched a comic book in your life because you think they're for kids or strange people who collect tiny plastic figurines and spend their weekends dressing up and sword-fighting in the park? Well I say you get yourself into your nearest bookstore, or better yet, your nearest actual comic book store. Go and talk to the staff. They're not scary. They are often passionate and excited and really want you to enjoy yourself (just like your average bookseller). You can't buy your first comic book on the internet. You need to feel it in your hands. You need to see if you can get on with the characters, and you'll probably need a little bit of advice. You might want to hang around and read a few issues first before committing to a big-old bind-up collection. You may also want to find a friend who can lend you stuff because the only downside of comics, as far as I can tell, is that they're expensive. So make friends people! Explore and share and have fun!


Anyway. All my comics so far have been loans or borrows, so I'm about to head out now and actually BUY my very first comic book. And this is going to be Watchmen by Alan Moore. I've heard good stuff. Let's see what happens. 


Hugs and high fives and as ever, your comments thoroughly encouraged,


Nicole
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On Reading Comic Books Pt.1

Please note before reading: this article is mainly aimed at people who have never read comics before, but I hope it will also make comic geeks go 'aww' or something. 


I suppose I need to start this article with a confession. I am a huge Star Trek geek. No, let me correct that. I WAS a huge Star Trek geek. I don't think I am anymore. I haven't watched a full episode in ages. Sometimes I flick through the Sky channels and I come across an old episode of Voyager and get really nostalgic, but ultimately it doesn't hook me anymore.


The reason I loved Star Trek? I was pretty much convinced, as a teenager, that I would fit perfectly into the Star Trek universe. I was clever, tall and gawky, with fuzzy hair and not many friends. Where else would I be able to fill my full potential than on the Enterprise or on a frontier space station? I would naturally end up being slim, because nobody on Star Trek was fat, and even if I looked a bit odd, that would be ok because I could just pass myself off as Betazoid, as I have really brown eyes and am quite sensitive to emotions and all that.


The Star Trek universe was a utopia, idealistic and simple. Sure there were battles and fights and skirmishes, but they would always be wrapped up within the hour, and ultimately, someone would always back out of the neutral zone in time. And if a main character were to die, it was always nobly, or by a tar creature, and you would be forever remembered by fanzines and plastic figurines. Unless you were Barclay. Did he even die? I kind of wished he did. 


The Star Trek universe was my imaginary home, but it soon became unsatisfactory. And not just because with the onset of the series Enterprise, with me constantly imagining Scott Bakula moaning 'Oh boy!' to Al. It became unsatisfactory because I realised that the world was cruel. And not necessarily kind to the geeks. My female icons, Troi, Dr Crusher, Kira, Jadzia and Janeway and even the statuesque Glamazon Seven of Nine, were all given their roles because they had good figures. Not because they were like me, a little bit frumpy with fuzzy hair. I grew up, saw the darkness in the world, and left Star Trek behind me.


And now we enter the new era...


About a month ago I watched the film Captain America. And I'm not going to even try to deny that the general peakish of my interest in the Marvel universe had nothing to do with a scrawny kid entering a chamber and coming out all kinds of Chris Evans Hot. Quite honestly, my first thought was more along the lines of 'can I go in the chamber and come out looking like Seven of Nine?' 


But it just so happened that I had watched Iron Man about a week before I watched Captain America, and honestly just presumed that they were distinct Hollywood Blockbusters. But, like, they're not. They are totally linked. As a moustachioed Howard Stark designed the famous shield, I turned to the imaginary person beside me (for I was actually alone) and went: DUDE! IT'S TONY'S DAD! EITHER THERE ARE SERIOUS COPYRIGHT ISSUES HAPPENING OR THIS HAS ENTERED A WHOLE NEW REALM OF META!


Because, you see fellow uninitiated people (here is where the comic book geeks reading this for the 'aww' factor may want to look away) the Marvel Universe is a thing. A whole thing. Stretching over decades, with characters and stories and arcs interacting and merging and double helixing all over the place. This is apparently why the current Avengers film is such a big deal. It brings the principle Marvel heroes together. And I totally didn't even conceive of that before. And then I learnt that the X Men can't get involved because they're owned by another studio and that made me sad. You see guys, there is a whole other world out there. And it kind of pummels the Star Trek universe to shit. As a graduate of a Creative Writing MA (bows) this whole concept of an entire fictional universe, not contained by one novel plus various sequels, but spread out throughout the consciousness of potentially infinite fans, basically gave me a serious nerdgasm. We're talking about narrative fiction on a whole different level here people. And so far, it appears to be awesome. (Cue comic book geeks going: AWWWW)


There is more I want to say, especially about my experience of actually physically reading a comic book for the first time, but maybe I should split this into two parts because I feel I may be starting to ramble. 


So for now, there we go people. The comic book universe is huge. And people have actual superpowers (as opposed to Deanna Troi who could just about tell that somebody felt sad sometimes) and when they die they die ferociously, and then sometimes come back. And because they're not on TV, the characters can live on in your head and if they get a little uncool, then they'll just draft another batch of writers/illustrators in to make them cool again. 


In the next part of this article I want to discuss how you discover comics as a regular person (because, I mean, where the heck do you start?!), how it feels to read one for the first time, and how they compare to other more standardly accepted forms of literary fiction. I also want to tell you about the very first comic book I read, Astonishing X-Men, as written by Joss Whedon, and then I might tell you a bit about how I already have a lady-nerd crush on Kitty Pryde. Go to hell Jadzia Dax. Yeah. You heard me Roddenberry. 


But for now,


Hugs and high fives,


Nicole
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Letterbox Love no.7 - 15th July 2012

The very latest books that have landed on my doormat, complete with blurbs and publication details...

Lace by Shirley Conran

"Which one of you bitches is my mother?"

1980. In Manhattan's most exclusive hotel, four friends come face to face with a young mega-watt film star. She has a question for them that has brought her from the streets of Paris to the playgrounds of the rich and famous - and it has almost destroyed her...

Published by Canongate, August 2012

Crusher by Niall Leonard
The day Finn Maguire discovers his father bludgeoned t death in a pool of blood, his dreary life is turned upside down. Prime suspect in the murder, Finn must race against time to clear his name and find out who hated his dad enough to kill him. 
Trawling the sordid, brutal London underworld for answers, Finn exposes dark family secrets and faces danger at every turn. But he's about to learn that it's the people you trust who can hit you the hardest...
Published by Doubleday, September 2012

Torn by David Massey
Afghanistan. In the heat and the dust, young British Army medic Elinor Nielson watches an Afghan girl walk into a hail of bullets.
But when she runs to help, Ellie finds her gone. Who is she? And what's happened to her? What Ellie discovers leads her to question everything she believes in - even her feelings for the American Lieutenant who takes her side...
Published by Chicken House, August 2012


Hope you enjoyed my letterbox this week.


Hugs and high fives,


Nicole
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Piccadilly YA Book Group

Hello everyone, marvellous Fridays to you all!

This week saw the first meeting of a brand new book club, for grown-ups that love reading Teen and YA books. We met at Waterstones Piccadilly, and the plan is to meet on the second Wednesday of every month and discuss a couple of books. If you would like to be on the mailing list for this book club, then please get in touch with me via the blog and I shall add you. The more the merrier!

I've decided to support the YA Book Club via my blog, so that even if you can't come you can keep track of the books we're reading, perhaps read along with us and add your thoughts and comments. 

So in that spirit, you have just under one month to read the following two books, linked by their themes of racism, black history and general intense-ness. Please find details of the books below, along with their blurbs. 

Out of Shadows by Jason Wallace

Published by Anderson Press

Zimbabwe, 1980s

The fighting has stopped, independence has been won and Robert Mugabe has come to power offering hope, land and freedom to black Africans. It is the end of the old way and the start of a promising new era. 

For Robert Jacklin, it's all new: new continent, new country, new school. And very quickly he is forced to understand a new way of thinking, because for some of his classmates the sound of guns is still loud, and their battles rage on... white boys who want their old country back, not this new black African government. Boys like Ivan. Clever, cunning Ivan. For him, there is still one last battle to fight, and he's taking it right to the very top. 

To buy Out of Shadows please click HERE!

In Darkness by Nick Lake

Published by Bloomsbury Books

In darkness I count my blessings like Manman taught me. One. I am alive. Two. There is no two. Trapped beneath the rubble of the Haitian earthquake of 2012, a teenage boy is terrified, desperate and alone. A child of the slums, Shorty has been drawn into the world of the gangsters who rule his broken city, a world that turns dreams into dust and boys into killers. But Shorty has a secret: a flame of revenge that burns inside him, a flame that fires his resolve to find the twin sister stolen from him seven years ago. In the darkness the line between the present and the past begins to blur and, as Shorty fights for life, his struggle becomes part of a two-hundred-year-old story - a story of courage and betrayal, of freedom and of hope. For Shorty may not be quite as alone as he believes. Sometimes, on the other of darkness, there is only death...And sometimes there is light.

I've already reviewed this book on my blog, so please find my review HERE!

To buy In Darkness please click HERE!

Letterbox Love no.6 - 8th July 2012

Another week, another insight into what's magically appeared on my doormat, complete with official blurbs what I've copied off the back, and publishing details. And I must admit, it's been a particularly exciting week for post!

Debutantes by Cora Harrison

It's 1923 an London is a whirl of jazz, dancing and parties. 

Violet, Daisy, Poppy and Rose Derrington are desperate to be part of it, but stuck in an enormous crumbling house in the country, with no money and no fashionable dresses, the excitement seems a lifetime away.

Luckily the girls each have a plan for escaping their humdrum country life: Rose wants to be a novelist, Poppy a jazz musician, and Daisy a famous film director. Violet, however, has only one ambition: to become the perfect Debutantem so that she can go to London and catch the eye of Prince George, the most eligible bachelor in the country.

But a house as big and old as Beech Grove Manor hides many secrets, and Daisy is about to uncover one so huge it could ruin all their plans - ruin everything - forever. 

Published by Macmillan, August 2012

Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler (art by Maira Kalman)

Min Green and Ed Slaterton have broken up, so Min is writing Ed a letter and giving him a box. Inside the box is why they broke up. A movie ticket from their first date, a comb from the motel room they shared and every other memento collected over the course of a giddy, intimate, heartbreaking relationship. Item after item is illustrated and accounted for, and then the box, like a girlfriend, will be dumped.

Published by Electric Monkey (Egmont), August 2012

Stormdancer by Jay Kristoff

Griffins are supposed to be extinct. So when Yukiko and her warrior father are sent to capture one for the Shogun, they fear their lives are over - everyone knows what happens to those who fail the Lord of the Shima Isles. But the mission proves less impossible and more deadly than anyone expects. Soon Yukiko finds herself stranded: a young woman alone in her country's last wilderness, with only a furious, crippled griffin for company. Although she can hear his thoughts, and saved his life, all she knows for certain is he'd rather see her dead than help her. Yet trapped together in the forest, Yukiko and the beast soon discover a bond that neither of them expected.

Meanwhile, the country around them verges on collapse. A toxic fuel is choking the land, and the machine-powered Lotus Guild is publicly burning those they deem impure, and the Shogun cares for nothing but his own dominion. Authority has always made Yukiko uneasy, but her world changes when she meets Kin, a young man with secrets, and the rebel Kage cabal. She learns the horrifying extent of the Shogun's crimes, both against her country and her family.

Returning to the city, Yukiko is determined to make the Shogun pay - but what can one girl an a flightless griffin do against the might of an empire?

Published by Tor, September 2012

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

Every year, Blue stands next to her clairvoyant mother as the soon-to-be dead walk past. Blue can't usually soo them but this year is different. When she sees a boy emerge from the dark there are only two explanations as to why she can see his spirit - either he is her true love or she has killed him.

The boy's name is Gansey and Blue soon discovers that he attends the local private school. Blue has a policy of staying away from those students. Known as Raven Boys, they only mean trouble. But Blue is drawn to Gansey in a way she can't explain.

There's something magical about Gansey. Something powerful. And as Blue becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven boys, she's determined to keep him alive...

Published by Scholastic, September 2012

Witch Crag by Kate Cann

In a tribe where basic survival is the only priority, Kita must make a choice: to accept arranged marriages and being treated with less value than a sheep, or escape and journey to the place that even the strongest men fear with their lives - Witch Crag.

But a common threat is facing the witches and sheepmen alike. The tribes must somehow overcome their prejudices and join together is they are to win a war that threatens to destroy everything they hold as good. 

Published by Scholastic, October 2012

I'm a little bowled over by this weeks haul, and I want to read it all now!


Hugs and high fives, 


Nicole
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